“I’m sorry, but you didn’t pass this time…”
That’s all it took. In just a few words, the instructor voided my 12 years of driving experience in my home country, 3 months of intense UK practice with three different instructors, and the prayers of my entire village (because as Black women, we don’t joke with those prayers!). All of it vanished in that 35-minute driving test.
I thanked him and drove off from the test centre, no anxiety, no nerves, just a strange sense of emptiness. For the first time all day, I let go of all the dos and don’ts, completely relaxed and enjoyed the drive. I retraced the same test route, this time without pressure, and drove back home. But one question kept circling in my mind: How could I have failed such a simple test?
The answer? NERVES.
I’ll admit it, I was nervous, despite all my preparation. I’d driven every possible route and studied every manoeuvre. By the beginning of the week, I had pushed myself so hard that I was feeling feverish and worn out. And now? The whole ordeal felt like it left a void in me, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
When I got home, I didn’t even know how to feel. I was drained, tired, and a bit sick. My emotions started creeping in, trying to throw me a pity party. But I chose to write out my thoughts instead. As I did, I reminded myself:
- This failure builds my confidence for the next test.
- Now, I have practical experience with this dreaded UK driving test (which many drivers from other countries will understand!).
- I’m more aware of road signs, manoeuvres, speed limits, etc.
- The next attempt is already a win.
By the time I finished writing, I had gained perspective and regained control over my emotions.
So, the next time you fail at something, a task, an exam, or a well-thought-out plan—resist the urge to throw yourself a pity party. Instead, try this: gratitude and reflection. Be grateful for the process and the lessons learned. Reflect on how the experience has made you better and what you’ve gained from it.
