I got an early birthday gift from my husband.
It was something I’d longed for over the last two years.
No, I didn’t ask or pressure him to buy it.
I just hoped I’d eventually get around to buying it in the fullness of time (lol).
So, when he got it for me and proudly called it an early birthday gift (I’m a July baby)
Let me just say, I was blown away. By the intent. The sacrifice.
The fact that he ignored all my “let’s wait” speeches, delayed gratification, and all, and firmly told me
“You deserve it. You desired it. Why wait?”
And when I finally laid my eyes on the gift… ah.
Let me just say, I had butterflies all over my stomach. I felt so blessed to have a friend and husband in Mr. Uubee.
Gifts have a way of warming the heart. The Bible says it well:
“Many seek the favour of a ruler, and everyone is the friend of a man who gives gifts,” Proverbs 19:6.
Gifts can be physical (like mine), or priceless like time, kindness, a listening ear, a word of encouragement, or prayers. No matter the form, the impact is often the same.
Sometimes we hold back, waiting for a better time to show love, to say something kind. But as Annie Dillard wrote:
“Do not hoard what seems good for a later place… The impulse to save something good for a better place later is the signal to spend it now… Anything you do not give freely and abundantly becomes lost to you. You open your safe and find ashes.”
Try the magic of giving a gift and see the satisfaction it brings to you, the giver, and the gleam and joy it brings to the receiver.
The gift I received brought both of us joy – satisfaction for the giver, joy for the receiver.
As I soaked in the joy of the gift, I found myself reflecting not just on it, but on the giver, and all the little things we’ve done to keep choosing each other, year after year. A few people have often asked what are the key factors that make a relationship (marriage) last. My first three have always been:
- Friendship
- Simple acts of kindness
- Always seeking the good of each other
These among others are what I share when people ask how we’ve stayed married over the last 17 years, especially as we’ve weathered different life phases and growing responsibilities at work, family, and in life.
I’m no marriage counsellor, but one thing we both cherish is peace. We are happy to forego ego, pride, and being right just to keep that peace.
We both cherish deep friendships and try to nurture ours and others we have been blessed with along the way.
If you are thinking of a list, I have none to share, just a simple guide: “What would you usually do with your BFF?”
- Gist.
- Get naughty.
- Tease endlessly.
- Argue like respectful colleagues.
But always remain each other’s biggest cheerleader.
Today, I write to remind you that in life, you’ll need deep friendships. To nurture them, you need to be intentional with your gift of time, your listening ear, physical gifts, and prayers.
You may not be in a marital relationship like mine, but this simple guide still applies.
Jesus remains our ultimate model for friendship: “John 15:13 (KJV) – ‘Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”
Ask Jesus to teach you to be a friend who loves more than a brother and gives. Be ready to be sacrificial and seek the greater good of all, and these seeds will yield a bountiful crop of good friends.
My word for you today is: whether you are married or not, whether you are in a full house or doing life solo, love intentionally. Give something. A word. A note. A prayer. A gift. Be the friend you want to have.
