Who I Am and Why I Write

Every now and then, I ask myself: Who am I becoming? This question is why I share my musings with you every fortnight.

Maybe it’s time to reintroduce myself both to you and to me.

I am Roseline, also known as The Trendy Mum,  a name I picked up from my early days of blogging about my struggles with raising a young family while building a career in the financial sector.

To be honest, I enjoy working. For the last 18 years of my life, I’ve worked in different organisations, sectors, and across two continents. I started right after school, first as a single young woman, until my knight in shining armour took my heart.

I held down a full-time job as we built our home, up until the babies started coming. I remember working right up to the delivery of my first, and even driving myself to the hospital for my second and then my last. I learnt how to keep my babies exclusively breastfed when I had to return to work after just 11 to 13 weeks of maternity leave (it is that short in my country!). Through it all, I had the support of a community called family.

And somewhere along the way, I started to write about my experiences, the beauty of motherhood, the struggles, and the tips that worked for me as I traversed each new phase of life. I also wrote about those moments when I could no longer understand the blurry lines between wife, mother, career, and me.

As a young girl from a humble background, I knew that writing and dreams were my best outlets for expressing myself and experiencing the world. In my heart and dreams, there were no limits. But as I grew older, I lost many of those dreams, as ‘adulting’ brought rationalisation into the mix. I began to question what once felt possible, boxing off some dreams as unrealistic.

Still, I scribbled those dreams on scraps of paper, in jotters and notebooks, until journaling became part of me, a place where I could pause, reflect, and find clarity.

One of those bold dreams was my desire to become the first female governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria, a position that still awaits a Nigerian woman to fill. This dream didn’t just appear out of nowhere; I think it quietly slipped into my heart from all those mornings watching my dad dress for work. He worked in finance, always meticulously dressed, and as I watched him leave the house each day, my young mind interpreted it as success and importance. I wanted that too.

So I studied for my first degree to work in finance. Eventually, the opportunity came, and I stepped into the corporate world determined to rise through the ranks.

Not long after, life took a turn, and motherhood came calling. I entered it with the same determination I carried into work, convinced I could handle it all. After all, I had read everything about “balancing motherhood and career.”

But the truth? The term balance doesn’t really exist.

Life, I’ve found, is more of an integration of work, motherhood, relationships, and every other role we hold. I’ve learnt to prioritise each part of my life according to the day’s needs and to give myself grace when things didn’t go as planned. I began setting small, attainable goals each day, which gave me a sense of accomplishment and kept me moving forward.

In all the upheaval, I still held tightly to my desire to have it all; to work, to build, to nurture a home like my mum’s, and not lose myself while doing it. Eventually, time and experience taught me that I can have it all, just not at the same time.

Being a wife, a mother with a young family, and a woman who loved the allure of the corporate world often felt like living three lives in one body. There were days I thought about quitting, choosing one part of life, and doing it well. Sometimes, I even envied my mum’s stable ministry job that afforded her slow mornings, a steady rhythm, and room for family. I loved my work, but I couldn’t deny the inner struggle.

So, I started to write.

At first, it was a way to pour my thoughts, the questions on my mind, the struggles with work or motherhood or both, and the little things that helped me stay grounded. As I began to share, other women started writing back. That was when I realised, they were living my same story.

Over time, the writing evolved into honest conversations aimed at encouraging women like me, those traversing the same path to live meaningfully amidst the chaos, and to believe that we can still enjoy all the worlds we want to be part of.

I wrote using the name Trendy Mum; it was my way of reminding myself that my mission is to have all facets of my life working harmoniously (though in reality, there are always aspects competing for attention).

So when I sit to write to you, to share a musing, a reflection on work, relationships, faith, or the seasons I’m walking through with my kids, it is always with love and a deep desire to remind you that:

I see you. I know you. I understand your struggles because that is my life too.

Through Trendy Mum, I share my own stories, and those of other women, to remind us that we can succeed in the marketplace without losing the heart of who we are: caregivers, wives, mothers, mentors, and builders of homes and dreams.

It’s this belief that fuels my passion to be a voice for women in the workplace and to help create spaces where our gifts can grow freely into leadership.

As Harriet Tubman said,

If you are a working mother like me, in career or business, navigating motherhood and relationships, you will find my musings familiar and encouraging. If you are a young woman trying to figure out purposeful work and meaningful living, this space is also for you.

Ultimately, my focus is to share how my faith in God helps me live purposefully, enjoying work, raising kids, marriage, and all the many roles that make up my life.

My favourite tagline remains:
Live life intentionally. Don’t compete with the world; run your own race.

So if my journey mirrors yours or resonates with you, drop a comment on the post, share it with another woman, or simply subscribe.